Written & directed by Artemas Gruzdeff
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
National School Boards Association:
Alexandria, VA – August 14 - A new study released today by the National School Boards Association and Grunwald Associates LLC exploring the online behaviors of U.S. teens and ‘tweens shows that 96 percent of students with online access use social networking technologies, such as chatting, text messaging, blogging, and visiting online communities such as Facebook, MySpace, and Webkinz.
Everything related to institutionalized education fills me with undiluted hatred, so, naturally, I’ve got some issues with this report.
Firstly, what’s with an apostrophe before ‘tweens’? Even J. R. R. Tolkien who was so old-fashioned he thought ‘gay’ means ‘merry’ didn’t put an apostrophe before ‘tweens’.
Secondly, what’s with the phrases “Almost half of students (49 percent)” and “more than one in five students (22 percent)”? I can’t decide whether it’s really moronic or really creepy.
Thirdly and finally, reading all these numbers probably left you wondering: so what? Kids go to MySpace. Big news. Duh.
Well, the crux of the whole thing is this:
“There is no doubt that these online teen hangouts are having a huge influence on how kids today are creatively thinking and behaving,” said Anne L. Bryant, executive director of the National School Boards Association. “The challenge for school boards and educators is that they have to keep pace with how students are using these tools in positive ways and consider how they might incorporate this technology into the school setting.”
Which translates to: the sure way to kill MySpace is to teach it at school.
Tags: Child Abuse.
Hello, friend! My name is Artemas Gruzdeff.
You don’t know me, but I work at the phone company and know whom you’ve been talking to. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.
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This blog is intended as a comedy, but as an equal opportunity content producer I do not require consumers to have a sense of humor.
You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind-legs. But by standing a whole flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. If man were not a gregarious animal, the world might have achieved, by this time, some real progress towards civilization. Segregate him, and he is no fool. But let him loose among his fellows, and he is lost — he becomes a unit in unreason.
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
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